e c h o l a b

- the Swahili word for "yes" -

Truelove and the Monkey Cop (via WaPo)

Sunday, April 24, 2005; Page A02

Ariz. Police Consider Primate Protege Picture this SWAT team scenario: It's Day Two of a hostage crisis. The suspect hasn't made contact with authorities for hours. Police have no idea if he's awake, if his hostages are injured, or what kind of weapons he's carrying. How do they know what to do next?

By now you're surely thinking: Sounds like a job for a capuchin monkey.

At least that's the thought that occurred to an officer with the Mesa, Ariz., police department. Sean Truelove applied for a $100,000 federal grant last year that would allow his department to buy one of the tiny primates -- they weigh only about five pounds -- and train it to fight crime.

Capuchins, natives of the South American rain forests, have long been used as companions to disabled people, performing tasks such as opening doors, switching on lights and fetching items. Truelove reasoned that the monkeys could also be deployed for special-operations missions -- sneaking into crevices, unlocking doors, carrying video cameras to capture information. "It would change the way we do business," he told a local reporter.

News of Truelove's proposal hit the local East Valley Tribune last weekend, and the notion of the wee commando -- outfitted in an adorable little Kevlar vest and doll-size gloves -- immediately inspired reporters from across the country to call. The chief quickly denied that the department was seriously pursuing the proposal. And Truelove has no response from the feds.

"My biggest roadblock is all of the unknowns," he told the Tribune. "People don't like unknowns."

"It's like a giant postapocalyptic monster truck rally, without the trucks."

alum 

"...you don't have to love your cultural roots, but you have to recognize them in some way. They are the sounds that were always in your ear. "

As the urban battlefield grows more complex and intense, new ways of managing and controlling crowds are needed. The attention of the media changes the rules of the game. Sometimes it is difficult to engage the enemy in the streets without causing damage to the all important image of the state. Instead EMPIRE NORTH suggests to mark and identify a suspicious subject on a safe distance, enabeling the national law enforcement agency to keep track on the target through a satellite in the weeks to come.

Valentines from Jesus (or, Why Federal Judges must promote a Christian America, or die.)

Ebay junkie.

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